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With over 5 million guys on Grindr in 192 countries and hitting 6 million users on its fourth birthday, we cannot ignore the fascination and curiosity of app based connectivity Apps like Grindr have allowed a convenient, fast and inexpensive way of connecting with other gay folk in close proximity.It has also allowed anonymity, exploration of sexuality and a way to check out our neighbours from the comfort of our own sofa.

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I didn’t say anything for a couple of days because I was in shock and wanted to be calm when I discussed it with him. But then he sent me an odd text saying he loves me. Once you tell him how you discovered the information he’ll immediately shut down and feel that you violated the trust of your relationship. However, even though you “accidentally” discovered the information, now that you have it, it trumps any argument he can raise.

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There must be some truth to the old joke: “What does a gay man bring on a second date? ” You would be ready to throw in the towel, if it weren’t for your best friend who met someone and is now in a happy relationship for the past 2 years—or that middle-aged couple who live in your building and who just celebrated 25 years together with a trip to Paris.

So you end up wondering “What’s the matter with me? ” As an openly gay man with over thirty years of experience as a therapist, I have seen scores of single gay men sabotage their efforts to find a partner, placing obstacles in their own path —without having the slightest idea as to what they are doing and why.

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